Here’s a big UP YOU.

You want out of my life? You’ve got it. No need to tell me twice. The truth of it all is that you never got me. Your paranoia trips got the best of you and it became a wall that you built in front of me. Perhaps in the future I will look back and mourn the loss of our friendship, but truthfully, these days you’re far from my mind.

You were always the one who believed in the gold at the end of the rainbow, the sunny skies, all the happy what nots. You couldn’t be realistic and see that not everyone’s lives are as good as yours. That was one of the major factors that split us apart. I grew up too fast, too young at an age and I saw all the grittyness that life holds for us while you were still stuck in the naiveness of a child.

You can point fingers at me all you want. I know what I did wrong and you should start figuring out what you’ve done wrong as well. I won’t paint it as though I am the victim, because there is no good guy/bad guy in this scenario.  I wish that others saw this side of you that you only showed me. Perhaps then, they would understand the situation better than just having one side of the story. However, why bother? What’s done is done and I don’t want to waste my time explaining to others my actions, my decisions.

“Don’t call me from now on”

You see, I’ll remember those words. I know you. I know you hate me yet you still wonder about me, but I won’t let you. You’ve admitted that to me countless of times. I’ve taken away almost every possible way of tracking me because I know you’re looking. I know what digs you in most is the fact that I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re upset at me, I don’t care if you hate me to death, as childish as that may sound. I may sound like the biggest shit but finding the energy trying to care for you was lost a long time ago.

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July 17, 2007. July 2007, thoughts.

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