Anger.

I find myself sitting here today, shaking with anger. I raise the volume on my speakers to the max, turn the bass up till I can feel the desk and floor quake underneath me. The rhythm of the electric guitar, the banging, the thrashing noise of the drums. The pounding noise of the music coursing through my veins. It makes me feel alive. My anger keeps me alive. It gives me a reminder that I am here. That there is more to me than this numbness I’ve felt. I close my eyes and give in. I get lost in this feeling of the bass thrumming in my body. I let the screaming words emitting from my speakers take over me. I let the anger and emotions wash out and I am just a body, a presence in this chair. There’s nothing better for me right now than this rush.

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August 20, 2007. Uncategorized.

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